What do emotions, words and actions have in common? They all start with a thought. So… this means you have a certain amount of control over every aspect of life. Sure, stuff happens— random asteroids plummet through your skies, but within the gap between what happens and how you respond is an opportunity to choose. When we study the Stoics— your pals Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, Zeno, Seneca, etc.— they help us to understand that you have options, even in the face of overwhelming odds. Mastering your mind— minding your mind— is up to you. Now, saying that and doing it can be challenging. The human animal is messy— irrational, overly-attached, sometimes painfully vexed— but you begin by cultivating awareness with mindfulness.
Buddhists and Taoists are particularly adept at this— cultivating mindfulness through meditation. In one particular practice, you can begin to calm the mind by imagining that your field of awareness resembles a blue, cloudless sky. Because your mind is a thought factory there will inevitably be clouds passing through— “thought weather,” if you will. There is no stopping thoughts— no total elimination of distraction— but the exercise is to watch these thoughts as they float along.. without attachment. And, when you find yourself thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner or imagining how you’re going to approach writing the Great American Novel, notice when you’re doing this and come back to the breath.
A note on breath: We use it not just to stay alive, but as a thread to carry us through one moment to the next. An example of this would be when you catch sight of one of your thought clouds and start piling more thoughts onto it so it becomes a veritable storm. Just stop. Right now. Bring your attention back to the breath— inhale and exhale, slowly and deeply. You might notice, within that momentary thought whirl, that you are barely breathing because you are so caught up. Let that shit go. There is also an tendency to judge one’s self and start adding harsh opinions about one’s ability to meditate. “I’m no good at this…. I hate this… I knew I couldn’t do it… Meditation sucks!” Let it go— just focus on those lovely inhales and exhales, let it flow. Each time, return to the breath— no drama, no struggle, no big deal. And understand that you will need to do this over and over and OVER again until it gets easier and easier. That’s why they call a practice a practice. ‘Cause you gotta practice it.
So you can see the thoughts coming— blowing across your sky of awareness— and you can just watch them travel, without trying to hop onto them. This exercise is conditioning you for equanimity. Huh? Equanimity. It means the state of being neutral, non-judgmental and non-attached— in the moment, but not OF it; if that makes sense. In other words, you are aware— fully present— but not swept up. When you get really good at this, you bring the ability to manifest equanimity in the world, in your life, at any time. Now— it doesn’t mean you don’t care about what happens or that you don’t have feelings, it just means that you wont get so bent out of shape that you are paralyzed by fear or doubt, or swept up in some other wild swing of emotion. You observe it, you understand it— and you can respond, rather than impulsively react.
When you master your mind— beginning with being aware of thoughts and not attaching to them— you can then learn to make choices about what thoughts to give your attention to. An example would be that you happen to notice your thoughts turning negative when faced with a stressful or challenging situation— say, a job interview. Perhaps your default mental chatter is something like this: “I’m terrible at these things… I don’t even know what to wear… Am not even sure I’m qualified… Maybe they wont like me.” If you attach too much to these negative thoughts, how do you think this interview is going to go? However, if you choose to focus on other thoughts like, “I have real strengths to bring to the table… I have the kind of experience they are looking for… Am going to present myself as best I can”— you might actually run the risk of doing well in your interview. Mindset is not a guarantee you’ll get the job, of course, but it will confidently set you up for success much better than the negative thought-spin will!
In sum, thoughts are inevitable. But we can choose which ones to engage with, which ones to let go and which ones to cultivate. Breath can help ground and stabilize our attention as we do this. With awareness comes the ability to change. And this awareness allows you, not only to master your thoughts, but your emotions. Also, you are able to choose how to respond in the moment— not just react. In other words, when you master your mind you also master your life— in thought, word and deed. And this makes being in the world so much more interesting, empowering and enjoyable! You’ve got those old Stoics and countless bodhisattvas smiling right now... Keep practicing, keep breathing.
Go forth… and shine, my dear ones!
All best to you— :D
